Think about it...

[Velocity]

I go by many names, and I could tell you what it’s like
To die a painful death yet I’m still afraid of life
I’ve been living in the darkness, I’m still afraid of light
-Light-----light----light…… Yea…..

Street lights bask the pavement in subtle sun
On roads trampled often slowly coming undone
Cracks in the concrete, filled with someone’s blood
Where the presence of peace is over-run
By soldiers of poverty on number run’s

Take a walk with me

Life isn’t gifted certainty, other then death
So live life purposefully, since
Common logic is underestimated, so intellect
Is measured in patience, is this making sense?

Listen to my heart…..beat

Don’t be cradled by fools that’re frail and used
Their intelligence is twisted it’s been
Misconstrued by their addiction to missin’ the truth
And their often just as disillusioned as you

Listen

Conscious is the mind’s means for purpose
Is their reason for knowledge, without learning?


Think about it……….



-Velo-

http://www.rap-royalty.com/forum/tex...on-denied.html
http://www.rap-royalty.com/forum/tex...ou-decide.html

[Velocity]

Uppin for feed.

[Tommy Kost]

At first, I thought you were talking about a baby. Because "many names" could refer to the parents trying to pick names for the baby. "Afraid of life", the baby cries when born. "Living in darkness", in the mother's womb.

But as the story progressed I got the idea that this was about war. A soldier's perspective to be blunt. I got the idea that, from war, people act without reason and do things for "knowledge" (aka God), but they don't really know what Religion is meant to preach.

Interesting piece. I like how you try to make the reader guess. That's how I feel that these types of pieces should be. Lupe Fiasco type stuff. This would be cool as an audio if you ever had the chance to record it.

Keep writing 'em, stay up.

[Velocity]

*claps slowly*

I'm impressed. I'm a military brat, you read me clean through the smoke dude.
My favorite quote of all time is from William Blake, 1850. "They say this mystery never shall cease; The priest promotes war, and the soldier peace."

I appreciate the read bro.

[Dragon]

Tommy Kost Your Feedback Never Ceases To Impress Me.

Don’t be cradled by fools that’re frail and used
Their intelligence is twisted it’s been
Misconstrued by their addiction to missin’ the truth
And their often just as disillusioned as you

^^^
That Was Fresh. Good Read All Together But That Part Stood Out To Me As Hot.

Felt.

[Velocity]

Yea Dragon that was my fav part when I read over it, was like damn that execution was sick. Literally almost scrapped the whole piece and wrote a whole verse off those bars. lmao

But the feeds appreciated.

[Gray Sky Black Mourning]

Dope. I try to go in depth with feedback I give for anything but this requires little more than what I have already said and what has been said above. Format, vocabulary, subtle complexity... all on point. I love how when the piece draws to a conclusion the whole meaning behind it really comes into fruition.

Stay up. Please.

[Nietzsche]

I go by many names, and I could tell you what it’s like
To die a painful death yet I’m still afraid of life

Nice

Don’t be cradled by fools that’re frail and used
Their intelligence is twisted it’s been
Misconstrued by their addiction to missin’ the truth
And their often just as disillusioned as you

Another nice set of lines

I liked this man, some real good lines here. Pretty poetic. You take it how you want to message, and that's good. Always something unique. I like this, kind of short it felt like but got to the point. Not much feedback I can give to improve, just keep it up, maybe as an audio, if you can map all this out. But good stuff, keep up the good work man.

[Velocity]

Feeds Appreciated, Yea I've got plans on that audio tip, I was talking to Tommy about it for like an hour and a half the other day.

Like I said, I'll never stop unless this game stops me. riiiight

[AzN_oPtImUz33]

this piece had me thinkin man...def something different...like the concept...