Dont Freestyle.

[Da Astronaut]

this aint free! yall niggas need to pay me!

im serious man.

lol

yo


the Republic threw me in a cave and chained me
my eyes are wide open_ and eye still cant see

keep my head to tha sky_ eyes on my prize
>>left the devil on my shoulda angels to my right<<
its like i've been blind folded all of my life
but im walkin by faith_ and not by my site

this is not my might, u could blame my energy
enemy of tha state_that makes the state my enemy
knock em off they high horse rhyme source heavenly
of course we gonna win n u can place ya bets on me

aint smokin regie bush, we kush n dro blazin
if satans payin payton im playin a saints fans
hittin a super bowl_ flow is just bake and
u know i be cooked like what the chefs makin!

save it_ cuz u aint ready for the heavy.
im usein the force and u swingin a ma-shedy
soul caliber 4 its the return of the je-di
revenge of the nerds_ words are like da light-
-saber. i cater_ im just an entertainer
sharper then a razor hot like the equator
Planet roc the Cradle of Life to sleep*

*afrika bambaataa shit

bright minded dont need dimonds to shine fo mee
not blinded i see. but i cant see forward
so i make eye holes blind folds like Zorros(0 0)

leave my mark o polo popped like the fonze
Ayyee town down_ peaces to da sky_ im gone.

[Da Astronaut]

Talking in Code
As I Walk With The Devil...

[New Kids On Block]

"if satans payin payton im playin a saints fans"


Aw Chucks

"sharper then a razor hot like the equator"

AW SHIT MAN.....

[Da Astronaut]

yea i was talkin bout a light saber ya know.

any critique? i'm here to elevate.

[New Kids On Block]

A Light Saber? The Star Wars Kind? Those Obi Wan Kenobi Light Sabers?















Or The Anakin Skywalker Kind?


Eh.......

[Da Astronaut]

u know the concept the pen is mightor then the sword. its on that type of shit.
u know my Word is like the Light type of shit lol

nigga des my high as thoughts. can yall interpret?

[KRAFT]

Um....this was kinda cool i guess. mad simple though, if you're gonna be doing text shit, yall need to step it up kiddo. be a little more creative and 'outside the box' with your thinking. that's all i can really tell you, dont come whhack.

[cinderella]

Yea this was pretty tight.

[apocolist]

Well I don't know how to differentiate freestyle from writing but Im going to just tell you what I think.

First, I do not know why you put the underscores in this, they seem to just get in the way. The first two bars are pretty decent, sort of plain if you know what I mean. Third part isn't fully explained it seems and doesn't really say much. Fourth part change to saint's fan not fans. Otherwise it is grammatically incorrect and doesn't even rhyme. The rest is pretty simple except for a few concepts.

Work on writing things out. I guess spontaneous writing isn't bad but I wouldn't do it alot of your a serious writer unless you have something on your mind you have already thought out. Also work on creativity a bit and structure a good bit. Also complexity can help you. Just keep writing and you'll get better if you try.