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Old 02-06-2008, 04:08 PM   #11 (permalink)
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well i like your structure and wording alot...

also some nice metaphores and a sort of twisted concept... pretty deep

are you a perfectionist... or strive to be one

i like your composition tho
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Old 02-06-2008, 05:50 PM   #12 (permalink)
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III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

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Old 02-11-2008, 12:19 PM   #13 (permalink)
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