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Old 03-08-2017, 03:14 PM   #1
The God of Israel
 
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Default AJ The Menace vs. Nemean -- Nemean Wins Via KO.

Topical Battle

30 Lines

due 8/12/2017

@Nemean
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Old 03-08-2017, 03:14 PM   #2
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This is a reminder to both participants!

Two Vote Links Required: Both you and your opponent will need a vote link (one apiece) for a total of 2 vote links.

Vote the battles by breaking down, giving advice to improve, critiquing, and explaining why someone won the battle. Do it correct the first time so you don't have to go back and do it again! You elevate when people tell you what to work on and where -- can't go that if people don't break it down!

Our motto is: good votes, not shitty votes that help absolutely no-one improve!

The voting page can be found here: Voting Page For All Rap Battles
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Old 03-09-2017, 05:34 PM   #3
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Check.
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Old 03-09-2017, 09:02 PM   #4
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Pick from these topics.
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Old 03-10-2017, 09:07 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vlad View Post
Check @Nemean
Thx @Vlad
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Old 03-14-2017, 05:42 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vlad View Post
#2. Thnx @Nemean.
Yea #2

Check
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Old 03-15-2017, 10:17 PM   #7
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Orchids blossom as the moon peers on the pier of destiny
I judge on a veneer of symmetry, moving with the clearest energy
I am endearment's remedy, always prospering with synchronicity
The wind blows trees and grass, following the Astronomy
I'm conquering the true following, fulfillment of joy
Nothing is left away from the earth's distillness and poise.
I'm willing to ploy, Angels throughout the heavenly skies
The zeitgeist will steadily rise, immense in divine.
I've kept it in time, the universe's glorious power
For light years it's been in my grasp, and on the corners it towers
I move forward every second, as God of this world
As the ocean casts in gemstones, and releases sparkling pearls
People look at the stars and clouds, and wonder of my creations
The God of Israel is pleased, as the strength from the elation
I create planets in fortitude, for my energy is moving
Everything is in paradise, as my melody is beauty.
The night sky is a fortress, for space and tranquility
The full moon is set high, for my grace and humility
I breathe the cosmos, and set the solar system
I show my wisdom, for every soul will glisten'.
I am The Semi-God for the ancient infinity
Showing righteousness, and voice, for the face of serenity
The God of Israel was here before, now I'm in control
I'm Zion in bold, as the future light is in hold.
The earth rotates on the slightest axis
I harness everyone's happiness, with the finest passion
Everything is handled splendidly, The North star beckons
I'm the charm mentioned, as the planet's heart's blessing
Anything is possible, as the ocean rises on the pier
For I won't stop till' every mind synchronizes and is clear.

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Last edited by AJ The Menace; 05-27-2017 at 11:13 AM..
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Old 04-21-2017, 04:34 AM   #8
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Default The boy in the tunnel





So firm with intent he places his hands on each of his cheeks
discerned it prevents clarity manifesting & impeaching his speech
“why do we have to do this?” he trembled and smothered
Peter was 45, an aer of loneliness but a work friend of his mother’s
“It’s just what best friends do!” as he stroked through his hair
the boy couldn’t understand as peter left a nervous joke in the air

Time tic’s in a broken clock, as angst builds in the hope he’ll stop
secrets wrangled in a spoken knot, as on the inside he chokes and rots
Years pass disengaged, distracted, only one that remains attracted
a mind so drained, abstracted, tell me, how was he not afraid the captive?
Distorted, submissive in fashion, to his abuser he had an implicit compassion
the outside couldn’t listen or fathom, as logic goes the thing missing was ration

The sombre space, a cloudy mist
he balls his fingers around his fist
thoughts vocalised, aloud they twist
as the cold of steel ploughs his wrists
“Stop”
from the ledge he’s pulled
blade to skin the edge is stalled
tracks across his skin lead the way
the journey, everything he sees and says
deceived he prays to leave these ways
as a single drop he bleeds and fades

One Day

Then suddenly, out of the blue; he snaps from the core
tension, spills from the wound as he cracks on the door
Peter answers, as it opens he’s knocked back to the floor
the boy stands over him, Peter crawls, trapped on all fours
The final act is in course, scene’s set no props and at last a stage
“I cant take this anymore” screams the boy, his voice; rasped in rage


“What have I done” to his knees the boy drops and wilts
confused, so much anger yet stopped in guilt
cold and bemused a sadness quickly thickens and crusts
the concept is one that would sicken the guts
wes ghost and Alice like this.
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Last edited by Nemean; 04-21-2017 at 04:39 AM..
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Old 05-08-2017, 03:22 AM   #9
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Old 05-08-2017, 04:26 AM   #10
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