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06-24-2009, 08:34 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| --FUCK YOU--  Join Date: Jun 2009
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|  --Dedication-- http://www.rap-royalty.com/forum/aud...in-stylez.html http://www.rap-royalty.com/forum/aud...s-monarch.html ------- Jus a quick lil track i did for fun, jus really liked the beat n shit so i fuck'd with it n spit this spoken word piece i wrote. SoundClick artist: CUETE-DE-MUERTE - page with MP3 music downloads lyrics: She finds her way into my sentences, playing with my tenses-past, present I'll even keep her close for future reference I'll manuever my future to rest against the time spent trying to bless these instances with your presence She found her way into my kitchen feeding me food for thought I'm moved by the smooth way her lips move when she talks persay-I'd like to take you out on a night filled with visions full of citylights that'll truly leave you smitten see, I want to get between your lines-not your linens cus what matters not between your thighs but in your writtens and I've made it my mission to forget the other women; cus in the end there's no winning if we're finished so let me demonstrate my taste for your intelliegence: ..........................I lie a celibate man................................. ...........................beyond lustfulness............................... ..........................loving what I can................................. still I tend to wonder how your tongue bends around the ends of syllables-your flavor's edible sweet metaphors, I wish to indulge similies sliding off your smile- how i'm eager to hear your seductive verses whispered in my ear -let me make it clear- if your words were a sex position .... I'd have 69 reasons to commit to submission.
__________________ --Vengeance Is In My Blood--  |
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06-26-2009, 02:24 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Untouchable Join Date: Apr 2007
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| Aside from the quality, your presence and delivery could use some work. BUT everything else is on point and good. Not bad at all.
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06-28-2009, 01:45 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Port Washington, Wisconsin
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| Like they said, fix up the quality. Other than that, everything else is on point. Keep it up.
__________________ Support my foundation: http://www.dustindiamondfoundation.com/ Also if you want my sex tape, Screeched aka Saved by the Smell, just PM me and we will discuss a price. I'm also selling shirts "I gave 15 dollars to help Screeech save his house" for 15-20 bucks, but for an extra $5 I will put my autograph on it. <div align="CENTER">Here lies the victims of Screech  -Shadow Jihad (KO) -KidCharade (  )</div> |
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06-29-2009, 03:12 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| De La  Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The ghett-oh, California
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| Maybe it's just your mixing, but the beat overpowers your vocals... It almost sounds like you're whispering. Try to develop a little more of a presence when doing audios, it can be hard with some circumstances like, people in the other room or sometimes even people in the SAME room haha, but it's all love man...you just gotta find that level of comfort and just rip it dude. Get in that zone where you just dont give a fuck, get on the mic and own it like it's your bitch hahaha. Your flow is alright, your lyrics are cool...but the delivery is what kills it for you. You've got a lot of promise tho loco, keep it up man. Holla!
__________________  © Johnny Greaseball 2008 http://www.soundclick.com/johnnygreaseball www.myspace.com/johnnygreaseball  Member of The Philosophers of Hip-Hop |
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06-30-2009, 01:40 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Street Soldier Join Date: Jun 2009
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| I Was Thinking The Same Thing, Quality And Your Delivery, If You Get That Situated I See Some Very Nice Things Being Dropped In The Future .... |
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07-02-2009, 05:04 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Is Breathing Hip Hop...  Join Date: May 2009 Location: Toronto Canada
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| Delivery...yea need a lil work....kind a quiet shit you got going there Quality needs to be upped good work
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07-03-2009, 10:20 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Street Soldier Join Date: Aug 2008
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| i really, eally dig this beat - i dont know why - but im diggin the fuck out of it, your flow aint bad, but the vocal production sounds weird, its makin it hard to make out you vocals - damn, i cant get over how much im diggin this beat though lol keep it movin homie return the favor please http://www.rap-royalty.com/forum/aud...ntisocial.html |
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