View Single Post
Old 05-31-2009, 07:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
Illustrious
Iller Than Thou
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Richmond Hill , New York
Posts: 1,468
Credits: 0
Tournament Joined: 0
Tournament Wins: 0
Rep Power: 0 Illustrious
Wins: 0
Losses: 0
Default

this was tough to grade , i liked all three verses actually and how the three verses were unique and presented something different

Creativity-- tie
Entertainment-- tie . . . can't really pick one i enjoy all of them
Flow-- drew
Rhyme Scheme--gladstone
Consistency/Topic-- tie
Lit. Elements-- hyzzy
Vocabulary-- drew
Emotion--gladstone
joey
families unfortunate... couldn't see the world, so there was no need for a suitcase//6
its crazy only at the age of twenty n he knew his fate was coming/
imagine knowing that date was coming how would u react? how would ur brain just function?//7
thinking would i last today or past away thats the thoughts that were running right through/

so as soon as his eyes get closed your bodys deceased but i know ur spirit is rising bro//9


drew
Just to think I’ve been waiting for this moment for years...
I try to block out the pain but I’m hopeless with fear...
And by these people surrounding me toasting the air...

As I approach Death and while I’m at it not stereotypical death...
With the hood, the sickle and the skull with the terrible breath...

And with these clever words with my erected nerves...
I asked him scared, if it ever hurts...
And he said “no more than life son, now walk up the stairs...”

hyzzy
The light's glimmer shimmers, tainted by my image in the mirror
I've become the exact antonym to the definition of a winner

If i represent famous u know why celebs get facelifts

Bleeding from the soul...a vacuum to the light
in a constant fight...to even wanna stay alive

those were my favorite lines . . . i didn't like the flowing of joey's story but i thought he wrote a pretty good story . i liked drew's verse for how he worded it and put it together . i didn't think hyzzy put forth his best effort . my vote would go to drew though , i was drawn into his story more and liked it slightly better than joey's , i don't know it's hard to pick one but drew's is the one i kept coming back to

vote: drewishhh
Illustrious is online now